"The Editor" (Kennedy & Brooks, Canada)

A parody and homage all at once, this horror throwback recreates the vibe of early Argento films like Suspiria.  A film editor who is missing the fingers on one hand due to a film splicing incident years before is the prime suspect in a series of brutal murders.  As the horror films he edits begin to resemble the bloody deaths around him, we begin to question what is reality and what's in his head.

Or something.  I dunno.  The first 50 minutes was clever and stylish but after a while the intentionally lame jokes and the intentionally bad dubbing just got kinda tired.  Supposedly the original idea was to do a fake trailer.  I probably would have loved that.  But at 100+ minutes after midnight the joke stopped being funny and I ended up just nodding off.

"Goodbye to Language 3D" (Jean-Luc Godard, France)

A dog takes a dump.  3D.  A naked woman ponders Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.  Flowers.  3D.  Helicopter EXPLODE.  Flowers.  A man takes a dump.  3D!!!  More flowers.  A dog. 3D.

Seriously, what's the point of art if only the artist gets it?  Oh and a bunch of pretentious twats in Cannes.  And even worse is the use of 3D.  At moments Godard actually cause the left and right eyes to see different blurry scenes yielding an instant headache.  Combined with the constant choppy edits and perspective changes, this film caused me to feel cross-eyed for most of the arduous 70 minutes.

Serious pretentious French nonsense with 3D guaranteed to cause a migraine.  Godard, you're a douchebag.

"Cub" (Jonas Govaerts, Belgium)

A simple premise:  a group of cub scouts and their leaders go on a camping trip only to find they're not alone in the woods.  Someone else is out there trying to earn his hunting badge.

What can I say?  Tons of fun if you can handle watching cub scouts being picked off in delightfully bloody ways.   Not deep but funny, disturbing stuff.  Liked a lot.

"Spring" (Benson & Moorhead, USA)

A grieving young man without any family and wanted by the police decides to skip the country and try his luck travelling across Europe.  In a gorgeous Italian village in the shadow of Vesuvius he meets the girl of his dreams and decides to stick around.  At first resistant to his advances, she soon warms to him and romance blooms.  Unfortunately she's dealing with something.  Something monstrous.

About 45 minutes into this film, I turned to my friend and whispered, "This is so great!"  The dialogue is natural and witty and the cinematography is so stunning that I couldn't help but fall in love with the film especially when the elements of horror started creeping in.  But then like most horror movies (and this one in particular) eventually the explanations begin.  At this point it feels like the film suddenly takes a sharp left turn from organic, slightly supernatural romance to silly scientific mumbo-jumbo.  Sometimes things are better left to the imagination.

In one scene, the girl points to a family of ash bodies in the ruins of Vesuvius stating its her dead family and I just wanted to roll my eyes.  But I couldn't because I just was just enjoying the characters too much.  In the end the film is saved by the brilliant first hour, the sweet ending, and the gorgeous vistas throughout.  A very good independently funded monster movie, perhaps not as strong as 2010's amazing 'Monsters', but definitely way more romantic.

"Life In A Fishbowl" (Baldvin Zophoniasson, Iceland)

The lives of three people meet in fascinating and tragic ways in this wonderful Icelandic film.  An alcoholic poet haunted by past decisions, a beautiful young woman supporting her child by working days at a childcare centre and nights turning tricks, and a businessman slowly watching his ethics disappear.

The plot twists and turns and the characters's lives collide in many ways.  It all would seem a bit of a convenient narrative if we weren't given the time to really care about them.  Because of this, we're treated to a very human drama as well as a fascinating look at modern Iceland - the failed banking system and the people struggling to make ends meet.  And unlike similar films like Crash with such connected stories of tragedy and pain, this one ends on a wonderfully redemptive note.  It makes sense that this was such a major hit in Iceland as it's an excellent film.

"Kill Me 3 Times" (Kriv Stenders, Australia)

In the vein of many Tarantino and Cohen brothers films that came before, a bunch of very bad people do very bad things in this Aussie crime thriller.  Simon Pegg stars as a PI/hitman who ends up mixed up in everyone's sordid plans.

Unfortunately, this movie lacks any of those other directors' crackling dialogue or memorable characters.  Nothing more than a fun but totally forgettable bloodbath that completely wastes Simon Pegg's talents.  Wait for it to hit NetFlix.

"The Riot Club" (Lone Scherfig, UK)

For hundreds of years Oxford college has had a secret club consisting of exactly 10 wealthy and entitled jerks who make it their mission to live life to its fullest (in other words, drink a lot, treat women like shit, and just be all-around classist assholes).  Two freshmen are initiated into the club and at their first official meeting of drunken debauchery, things spiral violently out of control in shocking but expected ways.

The story of these spoiled brats is entertaining enough but feels pretty familiar.  In fact, most of the characters including the lead aren't particularly memorable, except perhaps the one young man who is quite vicious and bitter due to a prior assault.  But it's a well-done film that still managed to shock and infuriate me despite its predictability.   Worth seeing.

"The Little Death" (Josh Lawson, Australia)

Not many comedies leave me grinning from ear to ear but this wonderful, edgy Aussie sex comedy did just that.  The film follows the stories of a bunch of different couples as they explore phone sex, fetishes, and even a rape fantasy (I know, right?)

It all sounds terribly sordid but the script and acting is so delightful that you can't help cheering.  In fact, there is one extended scene involving two deaf people and a phone sex call that is one of the funniest, most romantic things I've seen in years.  Those 20 minutes alone make the entire ticket price worth it.  Luckily, the rest of the film is just as hilarious.

I loved this comedy.  Loved it.  A must-see if it makes it into North American theaters.

"The Duke Of Burgundy" (UK, Peter Strickland)

This one's a bit hard to describe which is only a good thing.  The film starts by showing us a relationship between a cold, dominant professor and her quiet, submissive maid.  As things get really kinky, we're let in on more of their relationship and realize its not all what it seems.

What makes this gorgeous, 70s throwback is how utterly unexpected it is.  What starts as sexploitation turns into a hilarious, totally relatable scenes of two people trying to maneuver and negotiate their kinky fantasies.  What's even better is the director's choice to only include women in the cast, making it not about a gay relationship but a human relationship.

This is a wonderful film - sexy, funny, and gorgeous to watch.  Its just about 15 minutes too long....

"Luna" (UK, Dave McKean)

A couple still grieving the loss of their newborn spend a weekend at their friends cottage by the ocean.  Grief, anger, and old wounds all get filtered through Dave McKean's fantastical vision.

For anyone like me who's adored the Sandman comics (or has Vincent as a partner), Dave McKean is a bit of an icon.  And he's crafted a wonderfully human and magical little film.  Its far from perfect - the direction is a bit heavy-handed and the acting occasionally melodramatic - but its made up for with so much gorgeous imagery and moments.

One line from a grieving character sums its up just perfectly: "We must move on.... Otherwise we wouldn't be able to tango in the middle of an early Monday morning."

"Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet" (Various countries, Roger Allers)

A jailed poet is released from his mountain prison and wanders through the village towards the boat that he thinks is taking him home.  As he does, he shares wonderful poems and allegories along the way with all the people he sees.  These little vignettes are accompanied by stunning hand-drawn animation from around the world and songs by artists like Damian Rice and Glen Hansard.

Having not read The Prophet before, its hard to say who the target audience for this film is.  The stunning poetic visions look like moving watercolor and oil paintings at times but the beautiful words get lost in the images and music.  Way too much for a child to comprehend.  But then the main story tying everything together was just too dull for me to care.

I imagine the people giving a standing ovation as I left the theatre are the target audience.  They must have read the book.

"Nightcrawler" (USA, Dan Gilroy)

No, not that superhero.  This one's about a morally devoid thief and wannabe businessman, played gloriously by Jake Gyllenhaal.  He realizes his true calling after witnessing "nightcrawler" journalists filming a terrible accident and then selling the video to the morning news.  As he gets better and better footage, the lines between filming the accidents and crimes and causing them begins to blur.

Gyllenhaal's chilling performance makes this great movie.  His wide-eyed sociopath rivals Christian Bale's American Psycho (and also makes for an even better film.)  He's driven, hilarious, and terrifying.  Without him, it'd be hard to buy the film, but with him I think this will be one of the best Hollywood films this year.  Excellent - hilarious and chilling.

"Magical Girl" (Spain, Carlos Vermut)

Good people can do some terrible things when they're desperate.  An unemployed father trying to buy his dying daughter her one last wish.  An unstable woman trying to hide her mistakes from her husband any way she can.  And a reformed ex-con trying to protect a woman he loves.

All these are woven together slowly and methodically, with the director giving us enough time at the beginning to sympathize with the characters before he lets the narrative take hold.  In this slow burn of a film the moments of shock and horror are juxtaposed with flashes of absurd humour.

Given how little violence there is in most of the film, the gasps from the audience were frequent and delicious.  There were way too many empty seats for the world premiere of this shocking and darkly funny film.

After this excellent movie, I'm pretty sure I'm completely in love with Spanish cinema.  Be afraid of what I might do to protect it.....

Getting ready for TIFF 2014...

I've been told that my pretentious, uninformed mini-reviews of film at TIFF should be available to more than just my Facebook friends.  So here we are!  First movie tonight at 10 pm.  See you then.